by Marcelle Martin
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Purpose
The purpose of the Faithfulness group
meetings is to help pay attention to God’s presence and activity in the life of Friends who are seeking to faithfully follow divine guidance in service, witness, carrying out a ministry, or following a leading. Faithfulness Groups provide ongoing support, help with discernment, and spiritual accountability for the members of the group.
During a typical two-hour session, two people will each be the focus of the group for about one hour. Each focus person presents something about recent leadings, efforts or struggles to be faithful.
The role of the group is to prayerfully listen and, as prompted by the Spirit, to ask questions after a presentation is over that can help the presenter explore more deeply their relationship to, awareness of, and response to the Divine in carrying out their service, witness, or ministry.
This process is a form of spiritual nurture for the presenter, as well as an ongoing committee for clearness and accountability. Ideally, the group meets on an ongoing basis. In rotation, each member has a regular opportunity to be the focus of the group’s prayerful attention.
To “listen” another’s soul into a condition of disclosure and discovery may be almost the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.
—Douglas Steere
Group Atmosphere: Holy Accompaniment
Group meetings should be conducted with a prayerful, reverent, contemplative attitude: a relaxed, yet very attentive listening to one another and to each member’s own inner responses, looking for the presence of the Spirit in what is happening moment-by-moment. The Faithfulness group is a practice of holy accompaniment. During meetings we practice attentiveness to God together, with the intention of helping one another be attentive to the Divine while carrying out a ministry. This necessitates our willingness to refrain from posing questions too quickly or in a forced manner, instead each of us waits to sense and respond to the Spirit’s movement, allowing questions to surface gently. Ample time for silence during the discussion is needed and helpful.
When the prayerful and contemplative atmosphere of the group slides into problem solving, advice giving, analysis, criticism, or tangential discussions, it is important to recall that our priority is listening for the Divine and to return our attention to the Spirit. Group members are responsible to attend to their own awareness in this way as well as to keep noticing the overall atmosphere of the group, to see if some correction might be needed, such as, “I wonder if we’re staying focused here,” or “Could we pause for a few moments of silence at this point?” The goal for each member is to gently try to hear and respond to God’s presence, the movement of the Spirit, within the meeting of the group itself.
Content of the Meetings
Focus
Each meeting should be carefully centered around experiences and concerns relating specifically to the involvement of the presenter in their effort to be faithful, and should focus on how the prayer experience and faith life of the presenter affects this.
The group, in an attitude of open, humble, and holy accompaniment, should keep the focus on the PRESENTER’S spiritual concerns, experiences, feelings, faith, blocks, blind spots, gifts, discernment, confidence, and confusion in the work of faithfulness (including preparation for it and reflection upon it afterward.) It is helpful for the presenter to ask the group for help with his or her own reflections about specific spiritual concerns, yet to avoid seeking advice or suggestions. The focus should not be upon those ministered to, except as it serves to shed light on the presenter’s condition, discernment, and faithfulness. Discussion of those ministered to and problem solving should be kept to a minimum, and should never be allowed to eclipse the focus on the spiritual awareness of the presenter. Nor should it distract the group from its immediate, moment by moment attentiveness to the Divine.
Presentations
Each presenter has fifteen minutes to tell about specific incidents, inner movements, and concerns related to their efforts to be faithful. The presentation can include a specific incident, interaction, or event, or a description of the leading, witness, or ministry as it has developed over time. It could be a follow-up of a situation that has been previously presented. It is up to the presenter to discern what material to present and what form this should take. This calls for prayerful reflection ahead of time.
The presenter should ALWAYS include some information about his or her prayer in relationship to the ministry.
Presentations should include ONLY enough information about those ministered to as is needed to provide adequate understanding of the presenter’s experience of that relationship.
Questions and Deeper Exploration
After a brief opportunity to ask short questions of clarification about any facts that are needed in order to proceed, the group settles into a period of silent prayer and worship, out of which questions for the focus person may be posed. These questions, prompted by the Spirit, are intended to help the presenter focus on what is happening in their relationship with God in their efforts to be faithful. It is not necessary for group members to ask questions for the sake of asking questions. No straining or striving for questions is needed. Silent, prayerful accompaniment provides an opportunity to sense questions that are being prompted by the Spirit and reduces the human tendency to fill what may feel like a void.
The assumption is that faithfulness is aided by helping to make conscious, and clear away, any blocks within the presenter so that she or he can be more clearly and immediately present to the reality of the Spirit in their efforts or struggles to be faithful. The Faithfulness group format assumes that if the members of the group are openly and willingly attuned to the Spirit, any necessary help, learning, critique, and prayer will be expressed or revealed inwardly, with the help of the group’s prayerful presence and Spirit-led questions.
Though it can be tempting to apply psychological interpretations to the presenter’s behavior, challenges, and opportunities, this is not the work of the group. Members are encouraged to stay in a humble, reverent attitude toward the work of the Spirit in the presenter.
In some cases, anonymity of those served may need to be preserved; if there are, for instance, aspects of the service ministry that are confidential. In such cases, it may be necessary to create a fictional name and to disguise some identifying details about those served. Whatever is shared in the Faithfulness group is also confidential.
The Benefits of Ongoing Faithfulness Groups
In the beginning, as group members learn the discipline of this format, the Faithfulness group practice can feel awkward; this is natural. Group members can feel that disclosure of their spiritual condition and the challenges they face is a tender and uncomfortable experience. It may be helpful to consider the Faithfulness group experience as a meeting for worship with attention to faithfulness. Listening closely and reverently is foundational to the practice. It is helpful for group members, then, to apply tests of discernment to questions that may occur to them, just as they would in discerning and testing the source when they feel a prompting to offer vocal ministry in a meeting for worship.
Groups that meet over a period of time come to know each other’s call to, and experiences of, ministry—and learn to accompany each other into deeper realms of faithfulness. As trust and intimacy grow among the members, they will feel themselves, like experienced ensemble musicians, better able to accompany one another. Members of long-term groups report that their ability to discern and follow the promptings of the Spirit grows and leads them to increasing faith and profound Love.
Role of Conveners
It is the responsibility of the convener to open and close each meeting, to lead the worship/prayer time, to keep time carefully according to the schedule, to moderate the discussion as needed, and to attend to whether the discussion is following the intent, atmosphere and attitude described in these guidelines. (The latter is the responsibility of all, but it is helpful if the convener is consciously attentive to this.) It is recommended that the convener remind the group at the beginning that the focus should be more on the presenter than on those served, and that the basic intent of the meeting is to be open and responsive to the Spirit.
Schedule
The schedule for each should be approximately as follows:
- Opening-(convener reminds group about intended focus and attitude)
- Opening worship—5 minutes, led by convener
- First presentation—up to 15 minutes (Group listens silently to the presentation; at the end the presenter can be asked to speak about their prayer in relationship to the ministry if this has not yet been mentioned.)
- Brief factual questions of clarification (if necessary)
- Silent prayer, reflection—2 minutes
- Deeper questions and exploration—35 minutes
- Break—5 minutes
- Second presentation—up to 15 minutes
- Brief factual questions of clarification (if necessary)
- Silent prayer, reflection—2 minutes
- Deeper questions and exploration—35 minutes
- Process of meeting—5 minutes (see guidelines below)
- Closing worship—2 to 5 minutes
- Close
Evaluating and Processing the Faithfulness Group Meeting
After both presentations are finished, and just before closing the meeting, the convener asks the group to reflect on the Faithfulness group meeting, such as the sense of prayerful presence within the group, noting what facilitated that or seemed to get in the way. Was there, for instance, a sense of spiritual discernment happening for the presenter in the group, from the standpoint of the presenter and group members? Questions such as the following might be helpful:
- How well did we stay focused on the presenter and the presenter’s relationship with God? (as opposed to focusing on those ministered to?)
- Any special places where we seemed to be off track? (e.g. too much problem-solving, overly analytical, not attentive to the Spirit, group members telling their own stories, etc.)
- What was the quality of silence and attention to God?
- Did we all remain faithful to the inner guide?
- How was God able to work through us as a team?
The presenter might share her/his perceptions of the discussion, including anything that seemed to be especially on target or a particular “nudge of grace” in the presence or words of others.
Conveners and presenters should be scheduled on a rotating basis, with one convener and two presenters for a two-hour meeting. One person should not serve as both convener and presenter during a given meeting.
Some Questions of Reflection for the Faithfulness Group
These questions relate to the focus of the Faithfulness group practice: the attempt to be faithful in daily life, and in service or witness, in following a leading, and in the carrying out a ministry. They are offered to help groups consider a wide range of perspectives and implications in serving faithfully. They are useful tools for reflection when preparing to be a presenter. An actual Faithfulness group session will have far fewer questions and include generous space for the presenter to reflect and answer while the group actively listens.
Questions About the Role of Prayer for the Presenter
How does the presenter pray about the call to faithfulness, or about particular situations or contexts for their service, witness, leading, or ministry, and about those served? What are the presenter’s experiences and assumptions about what prayer is, how it happens, what power it has?
Questions About Discernment
How much freedom does the presenter have in responding to the Spirit in those served? What evidence does the presenter give of being specifically aware of the workings of grace or the Spirit in the life of those served?
What is the presenter’s degree of trust in God as contrasted with reliance upon his or her own personal competence and willful effort? How surrendered is the presenter? Is this a surrender to God? To self? To the one(s) ministered to? To the expectations of others? What kind and degree of surrender does the presenter encourage in the other?
Is the presenter willing to wait for a clear leading before acting, or are they running ahead of the Guide?
Questions About the Presenter
At what stage of being faithful to divine guidance, a leading, or call to ministry is the presenter? How does this affect the presenter’s sense of themselves, of God’s presence, and of those served?
What is the nature or quality of the presenter’s moment-by-moment awareness of or attention to God while attempting to be faithful? What seems to most help or hinder the presenter’s attentiveness to God? Does the presenter seek divine help in addressing the impediments to faithfulness; how?
How well can the presenter address or confront difficult issues? Can the presenter say the necessary “hard things?”
What is the nature of the presenter’s love/compassion in this relationship? Is it personal? Does it feel transcendent? How deeply can the presenter touch the heart of those served, seeing through surface images and emotions to the Light, or God’s image in others?
Accountability Questions
Has the presenter followed-up on the spiritual guidance, nudges and leadings they have received? If not, what is impeding their faithfulness? Is the presenter staying true to spiritual priorities and commitments?
Is the presenter willing to speak truth in difficult situations, when asked to do so?
About these Guidelines
These guidelines are intended to support people in their efforts to be faithful. They are modified from the peer group guidelines used in the Spiritual Guidance Program of the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation, with the permission of Shalem Institute. To learn more about Shalem’s programs, go to www.Shalem.org
For more information and resources related to faithfulness groups and practices that support discernment, see A Guide to Faithfulness Groups at Inner Light Books.
About the Author
Marcelle Martin is a Quaker writer, author of two books, Our Life Is Love and A Guide to Faithfulness Groups, both published by Inner Light Books. She is a member of Swarthmore Meeting in Philadelphia YM. The has taught Quakerism courses for Pendle Hill, the School of the Spirit, and the Nurturing Faithfulness program of New England YM. She blogs at A Whole Heart: Finding a Way of Love & Truth.